An Ode-R to Refs

EXT. SUBURBAN DRIVEWAY – DAY. The video opens on ALEX RODRIGUEZ walking up the driveway of a suburban house, carrying a branded Lysol duffel bag.

ZOOM IN on a sign standing on an easel in the driveway: UMPIRE + REFEREE SUPPORT GROUP.

INT. RESIDENTIAL GARAGE – DAY. In the garage, we see an intimate group of an umpire and refs (two men, one woman) all seated in chairs. They're dressed in sweat-stained uniforms with no third-party logos that telegraph their respective sports (baseball, football, basketball).

The refs and umpire have clearly all come from their respective games, looking a bit dejected and downtrodden. They wear conspicuously sweaty uniforms. UMPIRE: Being an umpire can be thankless, sweaty work. We get no respect, and it stinks!

ALEX RODRIGUEZ unexpectedly enters.

UMPIRE: Alex, what are you doing here?! [ALT: Alex, you've got some nerve crashing our session…!]

ALEX: I came to apologize. I know we didn't always see eye-to-eye back in the day… but I've changed!

UMPIRE: (Sarcastically:) Yeah, right! The UMPIRE rises from his seat, throwing up his arms in dismay.

With the UMPIRE's arms in the air, ALEX catches an unfortunate whiff of his armpit.

ALEX: (Holding his nose:) Hey ump… YOU STINK!

UMPIRE: You haven't changed one bit!

The other two refs rise from their seats, giving resounding Bronx cheers as they throw up their arms.

ALEX: (Gesturing to the UMPIRE's sweaty armpits:) No, I mean your uniform stinks… ¡Ay, Dios mio! … You all STINK!

GRAPHIC: The umpire and refs emit animated stink lines.

UMPIRE: (Smelling his uniform, getting the point.) Oof, he's not wrong!

The other refs pull their shirts to their noses and sniff them.

ALEX: (Claps his hand over the UMP's shoulder compassionately:) Bacteria and sweat can lead to seriously stinky clothes … but I have a winning strategy!

INT. UMP'S LAUNDRY ROOM – DAY. CHYRON: THE UMPIRE'S LAUNDRY ROOM.

ALEX eagerly pulls a bottle of Lysol Laundry Sanitizer from his duffel bag.

ALEX, the UMPIRE, and refs stand before the washer and dryer in the UMPIRE's laundry room. The UMPIRE and refs wear bathrobes. We see their sweaty uniforms piled in the washing machine, waiting to be washed.

ALEX demonstrates how to apply the product to the wash cycle. CHYRON: Use as directed.

ALEX: Lysol Laundry Sanitizer kills 99.9% of odor-causing bacteria in laundry. CHYRON: Use it in your laundry routine, with detergent. ALEX: I use it all the time to strike out stink!

In their robes, the UMPIRE and refs watch ALEX's demonstration in the background.

EXT. FRONT YARD – DAY. In a celebratory mood, the refs and umps excitedly play sports in the background. The UMPIRE's uniform looks conspicuously fresh. ALEX presents the UMPIRE a bottle of Lysol Laundry Sanitizer like a trophy.

The UMPIRE throws his arms around ALEX.

UMPIRE: Thanks Alex! ALEX: No sweat. CTA: LYSOL LAUNDRY SANITIZER KNOCKS STINK RIGHT OUT OF THE PARK (TBD).